So, you've just finished having the kind of mind-blowing, breathtaking sex that makes you feel super connected with your partner. But after you've both cleaned up, your partner immediately starts snoring, leaving you feeling a little This is because there's one key part of sex you're ignoring: aftercare. Making sure all partners' needs are met before and during sex is an essential skill to have, but what happens afterward is just as important. It's particularly important after roleplay or BDSM, but it's a crucial part of any kind of sex, too.
What aftercare looks like, though, can vary greatly from person to person, according to Balestrieri. Ahead, sex therapists explain how to make aftercare a meaningful part of your sex life, and offer expert advice on different techniques to try. Then comes oral sex , penetration, or something else entirely. And then comes aftercare. But all three of these parts constitute sex—and they all play an important role.
Usually, what comes first sets the mood; what comes next brings physical pleasure; and aftercare helps you shift from intimacy back to feeling grounded, says Balestrieri.
But even more than that, creating an aftercare plan with your partner requires the two of you to discuss your needs before intimacy even begins, ensuring the experience—from beginning to middle to end—is fully consensual, explains Amanda Pasciucco , PhD, LMFT, a certified sex therapist.
That level of intentionality and presence is essential for fostering connection and trust between partners. Skipping aftercare, however, can have consequences. This emotional gap could even lead to hesitancy to re-engage in sex, as the lack of transition can make intimacy feel incomplete, says Balestrieri. Here are expert-recommended techniques to try to help you and your partner feel closer after sex:.
