OK, maybe I haven't been on a million first dates , like the title of a recent Atlantic article, or even 50 first dates, like that Adam Sandler-Drew Barrymore movie. But ever since I starting online dating, I have been on a ton of them.
And rarely a second one. And almost never a third. In that Atlantic article, the CEOs of online dating companies hypothesize that because online dating presents me so many options, I'm less likely to commit to one girl. They may be right. I mean, if I go on an uninspired date, I just jump back online and message a few more people.
It's not that I'm even that attractive, but the nature of online dating especially here in New York City reassures me that it won't be long until I make another connection.
That sounds ominous until you consider the "old thinking about commitment" is prone to sustaining some unsatisfying and unhealthy relationships. The article describes how one guy's "desire to be with someone, to not have to go looking again, had always trumped whatever doubts he'd had about the person he was with.
Kind of de-romanticizes the whole idea of commitment, yeah? Sticking around because you'd rather be with anyone than no one is a pretty unhealthy reason to prolong a relationship. I have mine, too: an idealist and a bit of a romantic, I've been known to stay with a girl not because I really liked her but because I wanted to really like her. In trying to convince myself of that, I lied to her and lied to myself, all the while wasting both our time.
