Posted March 6, Reviewed by Jessica Schrader. My partner and I met in quite an unusual way. He had temporarily been living at home with his parents, who were my next-door neighbours. At the time, I was 35 and a single mom to an 8-year-old and he was One very hot summer night, he turned up at 3 a.
I thanked him and went to put my car round the back. Half an hour later he turned up again, knocked on the door and told me he fancied me. I invited him in for what ended up being the first in an illicit string of meetings in the middle of the night. No phone calls or meals out. No dates or meeting parents. It was the perfect start to a relationship for me 13 years on and we have a fairly standard relationship.
At the time, though, my friends wondered what on earth I was getting out of it. This lack of ability to read signals of attraction , which makes it hard for a relationship to even get off the ground, is characteristic of many women with ASD 1. The anxiety of getting ready for a date, the excruciating agony of making small talk, and the discomfort of wearing anything other than a dressing gown after 6 p.
Being able to have deep conversation, a glass of wine, and sex with someone I liked without the hassle of leaving the house was, in my mind, fantastic. As well as making it harder to recognise potentially attracted partners, women with ASD tend to experience other relationship problems including becoming obsessed with their romantic interest to the exclusivity of everything else.
My crushes well into adulthood would become all-consuming for me. I never understood how my friends could be in a room and find a few men attractive as I would hone in on one and become obsessed instantaneously. Another common relationship problem faced by women with ASD is in the expectation of being able to fulfill socially-expected gendered roles of being nurturing, caring, and available, given the need for women with ASD to have time for interests, hobbies, work, and time alone.
