Listen and Subscribe. Lisa β My sexless marriage is killing me! When my partner rejects me sexually, what can I do? I know being out of synch sexually with your partner can lead to a lot of hurt feelings and conflict in your relationship β all the things that make it paradoxically more difficult to create the emotional intimacy and feelings of connection that allow mutual pleasure in sexuality to flourish.
On the flip side, if you can use this experience to create a deeper connection, your relationship and your sex life will improve dramatically. I hope this article shows you the way! My guest is Dori B. You can tune in on this page, Apple Podcasts , Spotify , or wherever you listen. The partner who has a lower sex drive in the relationship is likely to feel defensive, and they may even begin to avoid physical affection with their partner out of anxiety that it will turn into a sexual advance and then a fight.
This defensive response to affection is sometimes called the bristle reaction , and it can really hurt your feelings! Nothing kills the mood like simmering in a stew of frustration, hurt feelings, resentment, anxiety, and avoidance.
If you want more sex and a better relationship , navigating differences in desire with thought and care is important! For most women, getting in the mood is a process, and a lot can stand in the way of that process unfolding. Being tired, stressed , or preoccupied with other things can all put the kibosh on the gradual ramp-up of desire that female libido usually requires, which can leave the more sex-ready partner feeling rejected β even when their partner not wanting to have sex right then truly has nothing to do with them.
Of course, men are not the only people who feel rejected in heterosexual relationships. For many couples, the dynamic cuts in the other direction, with the female partner wanting more sex than the male partner. The woman may be quicker to take it personally when her partner shoots her propositions down.
