And though the language is probably not the best for introducing your partner to the idea of giving him a prostate massage , as a cishet woman, I have also come to realize it's sometimes our own colonial ideas around masculinity that keep us from opening the floor for discussions around acts such as giving prostate massages.
Or, in some cases, what makes it a difficult topic for men to broach within their partnerships. For everything men are open to trying during sex, it's very rarely "butt stuff", especially when it comes to their own anus or that vicinity. Despite the fact that their version of the G-spot, called the P-spot, is located in their anus, the approach that most men take is: so what if the prostate massage is the golden gate that unlocks potentially better orgasms?
But I imagine that there are more than enough men who have expressed whether internally or externally some curiosity along with their uncertainty, whether it be through sharing fantasies or not totally shutting down when put on the table. At least that it what I have found in my observations during my brief time as a sex educator. I've also noticed that when Black and brown men reach a certain tax bracket, they are less afraid to express fantasies and desires that might otherwise stray from the typical ideals of masculinity.
Which makes sense but is also a different topic for a different day. Nevertheless, where's the fun in life if we're waiting to become the next 50 Cent before we begin to explore our sexuality through new experiences?
We spoke with Sex and Pleasure Educator, Luna Matatas for the specifics on prostate massages for Black and brown men who in many instances hold hegemonic views regarding their masculinity and thus their sexuality. While a guide like this might normally dive right in and give you the steps to the actual massage, any sex educator will tell you the communication and consent around any act is the very first step in all actuality.
