Psych yourself up. Pretend that, deep down, you want emotional love and physical connection with one person. Now pretend that person is the girl you swiped right on Tinder. Lower your standards. A fuckable appearance and actually good sex are inversely correlated anyway.
If you actually buy them pizza, keep in mind where each brand will get you:. Feel free to lie your ass off, but only about the important things. Girls, pull a me and say your daddy never loved you. A pity fuck, while it sounds like a bad thing, is still a fuck. The reason? Talk to people. If this fails for you, redownload Tinder. A well-dressed person has a chance. A person in khaki cargo shorts or a T-shirt with a whale on it does not.
Be cheesy and romantic. Say something really stupid about V-Day or cupid or chocolate-covered strawberries, then make fun of V-Day or cupid or chocolate-covered strawberries, then buy them pizza and ask if they want to get it on.
If not, please name your child Cupid as a reminder of your poor decision-making. Editor's Note: The name originally chosen for this recurring, weekly column has been removed because of an unintended and coincidental association with a member of a previous student protest. As such, The Daily Texan has deleted the comments referencing the original name. Step 1. More to Discover. More in Life and Arts. More in Student Life. Rhythm and Rhymes event kickstarts poetry, jazz careers of UT performers.
Texas Ballroom reflects on successful end-of-season world championships, gears up for another semester. Students dance away stress at Snowflake Solstice Ball. More in Uncategorized. Photo Gallery: Texas Men's Basketball vs.
