At parties mostly, and on the weekends. Then Rob introduced me to Paul. Then there was Colin, and B. There was no romance. This girl and others like her might once have been shunned, but no longer. For one thing, adolescents no longer see oral sex as sex. For another, sexual liberation of the late s shattered the rules and rituals of romance for women in their 20s. It was just a matter of time before their younger sisters embraced the same freedoms. The girl hookup culture is known in some circles as Ally McBeal feminism.
Dozens of young women described it for this story, some as participants, others as observers. A team of social scientists at Bowling Green State University in Ohio has interviewed 1, Toledo-area students in grades about dating and relationships.
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Its federally funded survey, highly unusual for the intimate nature of its questions, showed that among the teens who had engaged in intercourse β from 8 percent of 7th graders to 55 percent of 11th graders β one-third said they had had sex with someone whose attachment went no further than friendship. The proportion would have been higher if behaviors other than intercourse had been included. But the sex is so good, we still do that.
As the incidence of oral sex has increased, the proportion of high school girls engaging in intercourse has declined from 51 percent in to 43 percent in , according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Also, even as they seek the same sexual rush that guys historically have enjoyed, young women confess to dreaming about the romance of the old-fashioned pursuit: being wooed by leisurely strolls and candlelight dinners.
Could this explain the large amounts of alcohol some girls say they consume to make hooking up more palatable? So much has changed, so fast, as gender rules have collapsed. Less than a half-century ago, a girl never came out and told a guy she was interested in him. If he called, the two then might phone each other every night, talking for hours before going out on their first date.
