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The marriage day is one of the most important days of your life. And yet, today is obviously not the beginning of your love and relationship. Today is a highpoint to be sure, but it is just one day, albeit one very special day, in a long flow that began when you first fell in love. Lewis famously wrote about each one in his book, The Four Loves.
To make your marriage strong and enduring, commit yourselves to living in love and by love. First of all, there is family love. But for others, especially those who have had a painful childhood or been alienated from family members, family love may be felt for a group of people they have identified as their family members, whether they are actually related to them or not.
Commit yourself now to doing the hard work to nurture and develop family love as deeply and broadly as possible. There is also the love between close friends. No matter what you might have to face in the years to come, hold on to each other as best friends, and keep cultivating your friendship with one another at deeper and deeper levels. Then, for a married couple, there is the love of mutual attraction, or what the ancient Greeks called, eros.
Celebrate it, thoroughly enjoy it, and carefully protect it. Reserve this level of intimacy for each other and no one else; and enjoy the special closeness that comes from it. And then, finally, there is agape love. This is the kind of love that the Apostle Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
This is the kind of love God shows us, and the kind of love he wants us to show toward one another, regardless of attraction, friendship or family relations. One of my favorite stories in the Gospels actually started out on a sad note.