So the worst has happened. Maybe you knew deep in your gut that it was coming. She sat you down on the couch and broke the news to you. She was so cold and callous that she sent you a fucking text message.
In fact, in some ways it makes it worse; sure, in the abstract, your life is pretty fucking good. Yeah, about what I thought. Heartbreak sucks. But at the same time, your sitting around and wallowing in your own misery is only making things worse. A lot of people subscribe to the half-life theory of break-ups; that is, that it takes approximately half of the time you were together to get over someone.
Frankly, I disagree with this theory but even if it were true, that will be entirely too much time of sitting around and waiting for life to quit sucking and kicking your ass. So you have two weeks. Two weeks from the date she dumped you to cry about it, whine to your friends, bitch about her on your blog, write all that bad poetry and generally feel sorry for your self. But you will be right at the point where everyone around you will be running out of sympathy. So get off your couch and start making your post-break up playlist.
You need to unfriend her on Facebook, quit following her on Twitter, trash her e-mails, delete all of her contact information from your phone. You may think that no, you really do just want to be friends. And deep down you know just how this is going to end⦠in tears. All of this is going to throw you off your path to recovery. The only answer is to cut all ties and not look back. If the two of you are really meant to be, then then Universe will arrange for the two of you to come back in contact again.
There is an answer: exercise. Exercise drowns out the endless playback of what happened and the ultimately futile roleplaying of what you could do to get her back. And the best part are all the side benefits. And people are going to notice. And that, my friend, is going to make you feel better about yourself, way more than ordering another pizza and marathoning Veronica Mars on Netflix.
