Skip to content. Valentine's Day is a happy occasion for many, a time to show your love or feel loved. But for others, it's anything but. People in search of romance can be lonely, those in troubled relationships may feel even worse. Relationship attachment styles are a hot topic these days, thanks in large part to the research of Amir Levine , a psychiatrist and neuroscientist at Columbia University.
The authors popularized attachment theoryβthe idea that early emotional bonds with our caregivers impacts our future relationshipsβexploring three distinct attachment styles that affect the way we deal with relationship conflicts, our feelings toward sex, and our expectations of romantic intimacy. People with anxious attachment styles tend to be insecure about their relationships, fear abandonment, and often seek validation. Those with avoidant styles have a prevailing need to feel loved but are largely emotionally unavailable in their relationships.
And a securely attached person is comfortable giving and receiving love, can trust others and be trusted, and gets close to others with relative ease. While consistently popular with readers, Attached has recently enjoyed a resurgence. Increased social media mentions and renewed interest from the press have sent sales soaring during the past few years. Columbia Psychiatry News asked Levine how he got the idea for Attached , if we should all aspire to secure attachment styles, and whether couples with different attachment styles are doomed to fail.
I found the work at the therapeutic nursery so meaningful that I read all the suggested material for that rotation, which included textbooks about attachment. In there, I came across the information about adult attachment and attachment styles.
At the time, I happened to also be going through a breakup and the information gave me a whole new understanding of what went on in the relationship and what lead to the breakup. Adult attachment theory posits that your attachment style as an adult affects how you behave in close, romantic relationships, and indeed it cast so many things that happened in that breakup in a different light.
