Before we even get into activities, though, I want to take a minute and reassure you a little bit. BDSM and kink are practiced by all kinds of people with all kinds of backgrounds β and they play a huge role in the fantasy lives for a large proportion of women.
In fact, the data underscores just how common BDSM is. One article in the Journal of Sexual Health and Medicine found that Twenty-six percent of respondents said they were interested in BDSM, and another 7. And, "if one person is thinking cushy, bondage gear, and dripping candle wax and a blindfold, and the other one is thinking whips and chains and painting, [you] may talk past each other," Queen says. She suggests having a conversation not when you're already getting to it, which can feel like a high-pressure situation, but before.
Do you have some time to hang out with me and have this conversation with me at dinner? Or do you want to have a glass of wine?
I decided to focus specifically on suggestions made by Miette Rouge, 43, and Jenna, 26, both of whom are active members of their respective kink scenes. You might have already started this BDSM 1. A lot of people reach for the hair automatically in the throes of the passion. Miette suggests hair pulling as a good way to start getting into kinky play. Of course this like every other type of BDSM play requires conversation before doing it.
Don't just jump in and yank on someone's hair. Queen recommends using a "yes, no, maybe" list before doing anything to make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
