When is it time to dump a Friend with Benefits? We phone and text regularly. This arrangement worked fine until recently. Now I wonder if I should continue to see him.
When he is in a relationship, he says he feels trapped. The problems began when he informed me that an ex was coming to visit. I see plenty wrong with that! My understanding was that we could date others but not have sex with them. He accused me of lying, saying I must have done it in my marriage or with a previous boyfriend. He was furious, accusing me of arriving uninvited to try to catch him with another woman. I just wanted to resolve our argument!
Still, the next day I apologized for being rude and disrespectful. Can we just forget this? I love you and treasure what we have together. Easy answer: No. The two of you define your relationship yes, FWB is a relationship differently and want different things from it. What worked for you in the past has run its course. Your need for closeness conflicts with his need for privacy and autonomy. You say your understanding was that you each could date others but not have sex with them. Was that clearly stated?
If so, when? Have you updated your agreement over the four years? He values his privacy and never wanted a relationship where you could drop in on each other uninvited. You wanted to resolve an argument in person. He felt trapped and under suspicion. He never should have yelled at you and accused you of lying. His cruelty about your lack of skills in oral sex and his insistence that you were lying about that are unpardonable.
Even if you had been experienced with fellatio oral sex on a penis with others, men are different in exactly how they like to be pleasured.
