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Was this really all there was? They want to date year-olds. Still, there had to be a few decent, desirable, monogamous men out there who wanted the same things I did and who wanted them with a woman in their own age group. I was convinced I was missing something about how to make these apps work in my favour. None of the advice I read online made any difference in helping me to find my needle in the haystack.
The answer β the way you find an actual needle in an actual haystack β is to burn the haystack to the ground. I knew this had to be the key.
All this picking through pieces of hay to find one needle was too tedious and it took too damn long. I wanted to burn the whole haystack down and find my needle. I went back to the apps and started applying a few simple rules more on that below.
It changed everything. Five days later, I found my needle. We both shut down our dating app accounts after the first date probably not advisable, but what can I say; we did. He was everything I wanted: kind, funny, stable, family-oriented, professionally successful, and inherently monogamous like me.
But I still wanted a partner. When it was time for me to try again, I decided I was going to formalise my haystack-burning method and share it with others. Gen X women were made for this disaster.