In this section, Ansari explores how the previously commonplace mission of asking someone on a date has become a complex dance; one can now consider the medium of communication, the language of the question, and even already-available information via Facebook, Instagram, etc as having underlying implications. As Aziz tells it, it is possible to defeat the obstacles of miscommunication and anxiety and generally sweaty palms and wind up with a date.
Of course, this is an exaggeration; I have plenty of friends in relationships and have been on dates myself. But holistically speaking, few of these long-term relationships emerged out of casual dating, nor even sobriety, for that matter. Cue grimace. But there is something uniquely mystifying when applying these rules to the collegiate world, because like every structured mythical universe, the collegiate world has its rules. Now add cutthroat extremism, blossoming individuality, newfound liberation and, of course, the median age for the peak of the libido; this all converges at once for students on college campuses across the world.
Which brings me back to Aziz. But Aziz makes use of online dating statistics, forums, and random sample responses that reflect the practices an age or focus group living more or less professional lives.
These young professionals can longer meet people in an enclosed space like the university campus and expect for that encounter to be a repeat event. College students, on the other hand, are continually going to parties and organized events with people—similarly ranging between —whom they will probably see again and want to see again. People want to settle down, to find companionship, to find a partner. Meanwhile, seventeen and eighteen-year olds across the country step onto their respective campuses for the first time and something similar to a Pause function interrupts the notion of this same objective.
These students are free to do as they please, encouraged to understand themselves as unique individuals, and urged to fully engage in the life of their campuses. None of these assertions are, truthfully, anything new. Why, then, is casual dating not seen in the same light? Blithe, easy, noncommittal; a date could be as simple as a cup of coffee. I drink coffee with my great-aunt, for goodness sakes!
